The unforgiven: Episode #2

Episode title: Reishi got a secret 

Narrator: Reishi (wife)

I wished he didn’t look for me. I hoped he accepted my benign rejection and stayed away. I liked him the moment we met. He had gentle brown eyes that were like a window to his soul. I could easily read him like a book. I was afraid of a serious relationship and my God, the way he looked at me says it all. He was definitely looking for something real and lasting. For someone who wished never to see him again, I was thinking about him too much. That’s why even though his call came to me as a total surprise, I was glad he called.

“Why in God’s name will you give him by number?” I asked my friend.

“OMG! Did he call? What did he say?” she asked, sitting up from her couch.

“I’m not here to tell you about what we discussed. I’m here to ask you why you gave him by number.”

“You know I hate seeing you alone. His friend begged me to give them your number and I believe he really likes you” she said.

“And you didn’t bother to ask me first?”

“Because I know you would say no. And tell me, did you tell him not to call you again? If you did I’ll apologize” she replied, innocently.

“Well I didn’t… I couldn’t… He was so nice, so understanding. It’ll be horrible to tell him not to call again” I said. I tried to sound helpless to the situation unconvincingly.

“See. I knew you two will get along. Now tell me how it went” she said gaily.

I unfolded my arms, sat beside her, within minutes we were laughing and I was telling her all about how I felt about him. Apparently, his friend knew her friend. They meet, he recognized her from the polo game, he mention Aba’s near obsession of me. He begged for my number and that was it.

                                     ***

When you have a past that you carry to the present and to the future, it’s always difficult getting into new relationships. You’ll not know when to tell them about the past. Tell them too early and you scare them away. Tell them too late, and they might not be so empathic about it. Then you’ll have wasted all those times together and things will stop working. 

All I could think about was him now. My mind was constantly playing the game of “what ifs”. Our phone calls last longer by the day. I hate keeping things from people I care about. I am a grown woman. I don’t have time to waste on anyone who will not accept me completely. I am an independent woman; I have done well to get to where I am, alone.

 Whether it is too early or not, I have decided to tell Aba a little bit about my past when we go on our date this weekend. I’ll tell him the most important one; after all, it’s not like I can hide it from him forever. 

It is better to be too early than too late.